Confessions of a Victim of Restaurant Tourette's Syndrome

I have Restaurant Tourette's Syndrome.
I'll be at the table hesitating between two items, going back and forth, back and forth. Then the waiter will arrive and I will just BLURT some completely other item off the menu. I can think of a time when I was at brunch with my family and I was trying to decide between the Cinnamon & Granola Oatmeal and the Apple French Toast. I remember my mind was racing: 'Cinnamonandgranola?! Applefrenchtoast?! Cinnamonandgranola?! Applefrenchtoast?!' Then the waiter came to the table, the moment of truth was upon me and when he turned with this little notepad and said, "What can I get for ya?" I blurted: "Buckwheat pancakes!!!" Wait, what? I try to keep my sickness under control but sometimes the odds are against me. For example, this weekend at another so-called "Brunch" I had made all of the many choices required of me...Hot drink = Marco Polo Tea, Juice = Pineapple, Eggs= Scrambled, etc. Brunch is my arch-nemesis, there are just oh so many choices to make. The waitress came, I was ready. I started my well-rehearsed speech, "I'll have the Marco Polo tea, Pineapp..." She jumped in. "Sorry, you can only have Earl Gray with the brunch." AHHHHH! Say it ain't so! Say it ain't so!! This is a Restaurant Tourette's Syndromers worst nightmare. I tried not to panic. I breathed deeply. I willed myself not to break into a cold sweat. I forced a smile, "Oh, th-th-that's okay," I stammered. "I'll just have a c-c-COFFEE! A double espresso!" Whew. I made it through the rest of my order. She took the orders of the other three people at my table. I tried to smile, but all the while my mind was racing... “Coffee? double espresso?!? I don't want that! That doesn't sound remotely appetizing to me!! Help!” The waitress started folding over the little flip-cover on her notepad. I knew it was now or never. "HOT CHOCOLATE!" I yell. "Is it too late? Is it too late to change? I am sorry, but I don't want a double espresso. I want hot chocolate!!" She smiled kindly and told me it was okay, it wasn't too late to change. I breathed a sigh of relief. My food came and I enjoyed my meal. Another harrowing brunch experience had come to a successful end. I smiled at my fellow brunchmates as if to say, "All in a days work, my friends, all in a days work."